A Book Review by Heather Legg
(Appeared in "The Journey", a publication of The Link's NRC)
Spring, 2006

Heather Hays, a news anchor and journalist in Dallas, is also a survivor of suicide and author of the new book, Surviving Suicide, Help to Heal Your Heart. Hays's fiancé, Brett, died by suicide, leaving Hays behind, but she remembers his spirit through this book.

She has collected stories from around the world from other survivors who share their pain and their healing in narrative and letter format. Hays relates her own healing process as she composed the book, even including her own letter to Brett after his death.

Each section covers losses from the different relationships shared, including 'Parents Left Behind, Siblings Left Behind, Friends Left Behind and Children Left Behind.' To a survivor, not only is the section on the personal relationship valuable, but so are the other sections to relate how others are feeling over the same loss. For instance, a parent can read the section on Parents Left Behind and also the sections on Siblings and Loves to gain a better understanding of the pain the other survivors are feeling.

Surviving Suicide contains short entries which make reading a book amidst grief not such a treacherous thing to do. The hope it provides is valuable, the hope offered from those still new to grief to those further on the path of healing. A daughter writes to her father, "I miss you more than you will ever know.I never dealt with your leaving. Now that I have a familyof my own, I want to deal with it... I love you with all my heart, Daddy.

"A friend left behind writes of her own journey after her loss, "I've come full circle... Thank you for the lessons I learned from your life and your death." Each story shared is tragic, but real and open, letting survivors see they are not alone.

After each section, Hays offers "Help to Heal Hearts." She explains emotions, gives steps to healing, and offers understanding of the losses felt by each relationship. Her advice differs to help those left behind. She gives parents tips on writing and gathering family and friends together. She explains to siblings her PARD idea (protect, accept, reject and detect) to help them in their healing.

Hays provides encouragement in her book through her understanding and positive outlook. She writes, "There are so many ways to honor your loved one, and at the same time to heal yourself. I hope you can take care of your heart and find the path to a positive life. Your pain is real, but so is life. Embrace it, knowing one day you will have all the answers you are seeking."