As a survivor and someone who works with survivors I know how difficult it is to find a good book that will help deal with the aftereffects of such a disturbing event as the suicide of a loved one. Surviving Suicide, Help to Heal Your Heart, Life Stories from Those Left Behind will not disappoint survivors.

Heather Hays, a survivor and award-winning journalist writes her book following the suicide of her fiancé while feeling isolated and alone. Not wanting others to feel as she did she collected survivor stories from fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers, friends and lovers hoping their accounts convey that survivors are not alone. The hard learned lessons from and conclusions drawn by survivors are also shared along with the stories of those entangled in complicated grief. Further, integrated into the book is constructive information from professionals and the clergy.

While I've read many effective and beneficial books of survivors' stories, this book is among the few that includes so many individual accounts. Poignant letters follow each story, a novel approach I've not seen before. The letters are written by parents, siblings, friends or lovers to the person they lost. While heartrending to read, the letters depict various stages in the grief process, a wide range of useful information, and touching messages to their loved ones. There are several tragic accounts from individuals who had multiple family suicides. One woman whose mother, husband and son died by suicide writes, "I have been trying to get better, but it is so hard."

Among the insight and help from the clergy, are some messages written specifically to Christians; while they may find comfort in his words, others may not. Nevertheless, I encourage all survivors to read this book regardless of their religious beliefs, because there is much to be learned from the storytellers.

The author recommends that writing/journaling is an excellent way to discover what you are feeling inside. She proposes that if one writes about one's grief as it happens, one is better able to make some sense of what is going in one's life at that particular time. A professor agrees, noting that writing is one of the most significant tools we have developed to help us remember what really happened since our memory is short and faulty.

At the end of the book the author lists many valuable web sites and email addresses of the survivors who shared their stories. In addition there are: Crisis Support; Warning Signs; Suggestions for those who are suicidal and those wanting to help suicidal people; Hotline phone numbers and a web site listing Hotline phone numbers for every state, as well as support group information.

Survivors may feel life is permanently shattered but the stories in this book demonstrate it is possible to face the pain, go through the process of mourning and find a way to adapt. A survivor who lost two family members to suicide says it well, "Healing is a slow process ... it takes time to sort it all out. It's a long, hard road to learning how to separate yourself from the pain. You need to talk, vent, and even repeat yourself ... I urge you to read books that can help you understand what you feel. Don't try to lock it out, or your pain will show up later in health issues ... remember you can reclaim your life."

Ms. Hays' book offers abundant hope and help for survivors. You will identify not only with the despair and unbearable pain, but with various feelings and emotions, all the while accumulating information for your grief journey. In the final pages the author shares insight gained through her experience, "Treasure your memories and share your stories ... there are so many ways to honor your loved one, and at the same time to heal yourself ... each day is a chance for you to change your life ... I know it's hard ... but reach out to those close to you, and those in this book, and recognize that you are not alone."

The American Association of Suicidology's Publication Review Committee reviews books for the purpose of informing the membership of the latest and most relevant material devoted to the understanding, treatment, prevention, and postvention of suicide.