We invite Heather Hays into out living room each evening to catch up on the day's news, but working with her on a number of projects over the past year or so has provided further insight into this exceptionally talented and likable woman. We sat down with Heather recently to talk about her many endeavors, not the least demanding of which is her upcoming wedding!

Heather recently wrote and published her first book, Surviving Suicide: Help to Heal your Heart, as a personal step toward healing from one of the greatest tragedies imaginable - the suicide of fiance Brett Herman nearly 10 years ago. After years of silence, Heather now speaks openly about her life as a survivor and serves as a major contributor to the campaign of suicide awareness. Through her website, www.heatherhays.com, the recently unveiled Hayven Foundation, and her work at CONTACT, a counseling hotline, Heather demonstrates that by serving others we receive the gifts of peace and purpose.

We have so much to talk about, but we must begin by offering congratulations and best wishes to you and fiance Jeff Roberts on your impending nuptials! What do you see as the most dramatic change in your life?

HH: Hopefully nothing because things are great right now. People keep saying things are going to change and that everything will be different when we get married, but I don't really know what that "everything" is. It's wonderful to have the security of a partner who will be there when we're old and rocking on the front porch together.

With wedding plans well under way, what are you most stoked about?

HH: Bringing my family together - everybody being there with us to share the special moment. We all live scattered in every direction across the country. So while of course I'm thrilled about being with Jeff the rest of my life, I'm looking forward to my dad walking me down the aisle and being Daddy's little girl. I'll be 40 when we get married and I'm sure my dad was thinking, "It's never going to happen."

Having recently launched Hayven Foundation (www.hayvenfoundation.org), define it mission and purpose.

HH: Hayven Foundation's mission is suicide awareness and education. People do not realize how frequently suicide occurs. Every 15 minutes someone takes their life; every 45 seconds someone tries. What I want to do is make suicide-awareness materials available in schools, libraries and businesses. Hayven Foundation, a 501(c)3 non- profit will allow people to donate to the foundation and in turn we can donate materials to communities and hopefully make a difference, especially in the lives of young people.

Our other hope is to provide scholarships to students studying mental health professions, journalism and also for those who have lost someone to suicide - a parent, partner or best friend.

It's a grass roots effort, just one woman who suffered a loss who now is trying to help people by sharing that loss.

Tell us about your work with CONTACT (www.contactcrisisline.org)

HH: CONTACT is a 24/7 crisis hotline run by trained volunteers. They are dedicated and outstanding at what they do. I sit on the advisory board of CONTACT and I'm also their "face person" when they need someone to speak to schools, businesses and organizations. My work with CONTACT will continue along with the Hayven Foundation and my web site.

Speaking of - awesome job with www.heatherhays.com, chocked full of information, tips, resources, photos and stories. What is your goal for the web site?

HH: My goal is to show that there is a face to this issue. There is a face to one who will speak out and share something so tragic and personal. The blog started out as a personal journal. Once it got established, I began incorporating more articles, information and links.

There's still a lot of personal stuff on the site, like pictures of Jeff proposing! I'm excited about getting married and this shows that 10 years later we can move on - I am moving on. Brett is still a part of my life through the web site, my book and in my memories. I can share what my heart's been through and how I began to move forward. Hopefully, it can help someone...person to person.

How important is is for all of us - not just celebrities and personalities - to give back to our communities?

HH: Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has been through something. Why not use those experiences to help other people? One of the lessons we learned during Hurricane Katrina is that we never know when we'll be in need of help ourselves. Why not pay it forward? Not everyone can donate money, but we all have time and talents that can help someone else.

Your new book, Surviving Suicide: Help to Heal Your Heart - a compilation of stories and letters from those left behind - has met with great success. Would you describe it as a personal healing tool, a guide for survivors, and act of commemoration or a combination thereof?

HH: The book was born out of my own healing. I guess it was actually selfish...looking for a way to heal my heart. Writing became a tool. When I was sitting in Hawaii and wrote that initial letter to Brett, I had no idea it would turn into a book all these years later. But it truly was after finding the letter some years after his death, which will be 10 years ago October, reading it over and over again, crying and realizing how alone I was, that I began writing and reaching out. Until then I hadn't been very vocal about his death. Early on I actually told people he died in a car accident.I didn't want people to look at me and wonder, "what's wrong with you that you didn't know something was wrong with him?" Nor did I want people to think of him as weak because he wasn't a weak man. I thought I was protecting myself and his memory but what I learned is by "protecting" I was actually hiding the truth and it was keeping me from healing. As I began reaching out to other people - friends, support groups, other survivors - I found that we are all in such a place of hurt, frustration and need that I had to let people know we are not alone. There are others that are suffering from this.

Brett's and my story is a very small part of the book. It's primarily about other people. I know it's hard to read. I know it can bring the tissues out. But, almost everyone who wrote a letter contributing to the book said the experience was the hardest thing they've ever had to do, but it was also the most healing.

Reading story after story within its pages, one might expect to be left feeling saddened or depressed yet among the tears there lies a powerful and purposeful hope. Explain that irony.

HH: There's so much heartache that happens every single day - the stories people tell of loss and suffering. But we have to move through it, move forward, take that pain and turn it around into something we can share with other people. So many people hide away and pull the covers over their heads. We all go through it. Believe me; I pulled the cover over my head for weeks. Putting one foot in front of the other, getting out of bed and driving to work was just a miracle in those first weeks but I did it. Time is a great healer and so is being in touch with your feelings. You have to recognize them to move through them. In time you'll say, I can laugh and smile again...I can have good memories."

Initially, when pitching the idea for the book, were you met with, you're going to write about what?"

HH: Oh my gosh, yes! Not necessarily from friends because they knew it would be healing for me. But I'm not sure that many of them had faith that any publisher would pick it up. Low and behold, that's exactly what happened...no one wanted to publish the book. So, I did it myself. I saved all my rejection letters from all the publishers I contacted. One particular publisher said, "Nice effort, but there's not enough people who are touched by suicide." And I thought, "What rock are you living under.?" Some were smartalecs: some were simply uncaring. It was a huge financial decision. I didn't do it as an investment. I did it because i believe it will all come back around and that is all that matters.

As property owners, consumers and concerned citizens, we spend millions of dollars each year on security systems, alarms and other devices in an attempt to protect our homes, cars, ourselves and our families from unscrupulous acts of others. But how does one protect a loved one from himself?

HH: It is so important to find strength within the family...parents raising children to be strong, independent thinkers, to value human life, to value themselves, to have respect for themselves and for the world around them. In a very simple way, it's parents raising good citizens, someone who finds strength within their family, their faith and their relationship to God and with themselves. No one is going to get through this life without tragedy. Life happens. Strong families give each other the connection that says no matter what happens, "you are not alone...we're here for you." And that's something money can't buy. We can buy all the security systems in the world, but we can't put a price on strong families.

From your experience and research, what hails as the biggest misconception about suicide?

That it's weakness of a person's character or spirit; they couldn't cope. Everyone gets down. Everyone has times when they want to retreat to a dark room, but most people can still see the light under the doorway and from behind the curtains. For people who are truly depressed, they can't see the light. All they see is blackness. If that's truly what they see in their mind and that darkness leads them to take their life, how can we characterize that as a weakness?

Since Brett's death, what has been the most difficult stage of grief for you to overcome? Shock, anger, sadness, shame, guilt...?

HH: It would fall under the category of anger. The not knowing...why did you do this? How could you do this to me? Brett did not leave a note but even if he had, what did I want to hear? "I love you so much I had to kill myself." or "I hate you so much I had to kill myself," or "this had nothing to do with you." I'll never get any answers, not in this earthly life anyway. I had to get to a place of understanding that and once I did I was better able to deal with it. And the guilt - very hard. Why wasn't I able to see something? I was with him for 10 years and I didn't see it coming. Born of that anger and guilt was the book, the foundation and my work with CONTACT.

Give us the positive and negative of being recognized when you're out and about town. Is it ever bothersome or are people generally respectful of your personal time?

HH: the best thing about it is job security! "You're watching, thank goodness." When people tell me I'm doing a good job and that they love Fox 4, it's great. It's wonderful - people knowing and liking us. Now, everyone has a remote control. People are free to turn the channel and they sometimes do. They love to tell us about that too...that's the worst thing about it. But generally it's a nice familiarity with viewers.

Do you handle the recognition differently now than you did early in your career?

HH: I don't think so, no. I'm just very grateful that people watch. And I love getting emails and comments from viewers.

Revisit for us your most embarrassing on-air moment.

When it comes to the advancement of women in television, who do you believe has contributed more, Barbara Walters or Oprah Winfrey?

HH: For making the path, it was Barbara Walters because she was first. Getting out there, doing the work, working hard, doing good stories that made people think women can do great things and have the same trustworthiness as the Walter Cronkites of the world. Oprah Winfrey has made not only a difference for women, she's made a difference for everybody! I think her reach far exceeds what Barbara Walters has done in the sense of truly making a difference. Barbara Walters is an amazing journalist. But Oprah changes people's lives. With her Angel Network, she is making a difference for millions of people around the world and she motivates others and creates avenues for people to make a difference as well.

We typically see you on- beautifully, conservatively, professionally dressed. Is that also your off-air style or is your fashion sense more adventurous and free-spirited on you own time?

HH: I'm definitely casual unless we're going out in Dallas. We live near the lake, so on weekends I'm very casual. I still wear a Melrose place T-shirt that's 20 years old. Now if we're going out, I love to dress up. But I'm not one of those women who wakes up and puts on makeup before Jeff sees me. It's too much work.

What is your favorite "default" outfit for a night out with friends?

HH: I love low-rise jeans, though at 40 it's probably time to give them up. Just give me jeans and a great pair of strappy sandals...And I'm about all things shiny lately. I love sequins and rhinestones...a bedazzler! I'm a very girly girl. It probably goes back to my pageant days. It's just a lot of fun.

What other career choices do you feel would have suited your talents, interests and personality?

HH: Well - not because of talent but definitely personality - I'd be a singer. Now understand i can't sing, but I'd love to be a singer. I love the idea of being a lounge singer, you know Michelle Pfeiffer, Fabulous Baker Boys, crawling all over the piano, red dress...I would love that but I can't sing. I sang for American Idol's Simon once and he said to me, "I'm sure you're a good news person. Keep your night job."

And I love writing. I'm working on a second book; nothing like my current book. It's fiction. It's about serial killers and death and the newsroom. It's totally different. I'd also like to write romance novels. So since I can't sing, I'll just write.

It is obviously important to you and your career to maintain certain physical appearances. Are you one of those health-food-eating, yoga-twisting-exercising, drinking-lots-of-water people or were you just blessed with great genes?

HH: I'll thank my dad for my genes. I'd like to say that I'm very faithful about exercise but actually before I came over here today, I called and cancelled my gym membership because I hadn't been in a year. Every month I got charged and I got tired of looking at the bill so I called and said, "Let's just be done with this..." I'm very active. Jeff and I are weekend warriors. We love boating and biking. When I got home the other night, he declared we're going to start swimming more so he'd built a bungee cord contraption that hooks to the volleyball net and onto a strap so we can swim in place. I guess we'll be swimming in place in the pool now. I'm aware that we need to be healthy and in shape, but at dinner the other night I had wine and tiramisu. Everything in moderation.

Do you think there is greater pressure on women than men to defy time and gravity or has the time come that this is equally important to and for both sexes?

HH: Oh yes, absolutely there is more pressure on women. Men are distinguished with their grey hair; they're dignified and worldly with their wrinkles. How often do you hear those same words about women? When I am getting my grey covered, I don't see as many men in the salon as I see women. But I think men are beginning to feel it more. That's the whole basis of the "metrosexual" movement. There is an increasing number of men getting Botox and having plastic surgery, but not as great as the numbers of women. I think everybody wants to be healthy and young. Nobody wants to be "old" at 60. We know we can live long and healthy lives as long as we take care of ourselves.

What keeps you grounded? And on the (hopefully) rare occasion, what takes you back to center when you get off-kilter?

HH: My family and Jeff. There were times, especially after I won Miss Hawaii, when I may have thought, "I have this crown on my head and aren't I glorious and wonderful..." Well no not really. You're just a girl with a rhinestone on your head. I've learned that being humble is a much more attractive quality than being egotistical. I just haven't met too many egotistical people I want to hang around. We all have our moments of course, but if I get too cocky, Jeff will grab my ankles and pull me back down to the ground saying, "Where're you going? The view is much better down here. Get back down to earth."

Tell us one thing that people are surprised to learn about you when they get to know you personally?

How much of a homebody I can be. I can be satisfied at home on the couch eating popcorn and watching Lifetime all weekend long. When you meet me, I'm very energetic, outgoing and talkative. I love to go places and we're always on the run it seems. But when I do get home, I want to stay there and watch Lifetime.

You're an intelligent, focused woman - clearly - but surely you have at least one foolish habit. And we're not buying some "chips and salsa" confession here...

HH: Well, I don't smoke anymore. I quit two years ago December 30th. But I do have road rage. I'm trying to get it under control because that's not a good thing. I drive too fast, but I always wear my seatbelt...I'm not that foolish.

This is the opportunity to tell the world (OK the Metroplex) about your chocolate Lab Rosco.

HH: Oh, he is a doll. He turned 1-year-old on October 1st. He's the runt of the litter. Only weighs 52 pounds - more of a "miniature Lab" really. He's the sweetest! He sleeps with us. He went on a 2,200 mile cross-country journey with us...just part of our family, our sweetheart and very much my protector. He's on my heels wherever I go. His newest thing is so cute. When Jeff and I are kissing, he puts a paw on each of us and doesn't let go until we reach down and give him a family hug.